In This Small Spot by Caren Werlinger

Author:Caren Werlinger [Werlinger, Caren]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: (¯`'•.¸//(*_*)\\¸.•'´¯), lesbian fiction, convent, nuns, gay lesbian, womens fiction
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 28

“I don’t want it,” Alice protested. “It’ll just make me sleep, and I don’t want to sleep the days away.”

“I know you don’t,” Mickey assured her. “We’ll try to find the minimal dosage to take the edge off, okay?”

Even Alice could no longer hide the pain she was in, and Mickey gently insisted on adequate pain control. By the time they returned from Maine, Alice was getting weak. Jennifer stayed with them and helped look after Alice so Mickey could do things like the grocery shopping. “I want to take care of her myself,” she said when hospice called. Friends stepped in to bring meals – “they know how pathetic you are in the kitchen,” Alice joked weakly.

Christopher came by often, bringing Alice Communion and bags of letters and cards from the youth group and other parish members. When she asked, he heard her confession, and blessed her, dipping his thumb into the container of holy oil and anointing her forehead with a cross “in the name of the Creator, and of the Redeemer, and of the Consoler.”

Mickey called Edna and Charles to tell them it was time. Alice died with her family gathered around her, held propped against Mickey as she took her last ragged breaths. The next days were a blur of activity. Mickey was overwhelmed by the number of people who came to the funeral home and then the funeral. St. Matthew’s was packed with many of the parishioners as well as teachers and administrators, parents of Alice’s students past and present, several former students, most of whom were now parents themselves, plus Alice and Mickey’s wide circle of friends. And then there were Mickey’s colleagues and students, even patients who had heard or read about Alice’s passing. It was ironic that, not until then, had Mickey realized how wide Alice’s circle of influence had been. More than one young adult told Mickey that he or she had become a teacher because of Alice’s example.

Jennifer, Edna and Charles were the last ones to leave a couple of weeks later. They helped Mickey write thank you notes to everyone who sent cards. Together, they went through Alice’s closet and dressers – “Are you sure you’re ready to do this now?” Edna asked, but “I have to,” Mickey said. She had encouraged Alice’s family to let her know if there were specific items they wanted – jewelry, clothing, whatever. The rest would be distributed among the church’s thrift shop and women’s shelters.

“You will be with us for Thanksgiving,” Edna ordered as she gave Mickey a hug.

“I’ll be there,” Mickey smiled. She waved them off, and went back inside the house. Standing with her back against the door, she suddenly felt suffocated by the emptiness, as if the house had become a vacuum. Clutching at her chest, she tried to slow her breathing and stop the tears that threatened to drown her. When she could breathe, she stood in the living room, looking around.

“Now what?”

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